Smart People

[Skurvey Dog]

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

Question: If you could live forever, would you, and why?
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever'.
-Alabama's Heather Whitestone, Miss America 1995

'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
-Mariah Carey

'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,'
-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,'
-Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward .

'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,'
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

'That low-down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,'
-A congressional candidate in Texas .

'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
-Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
Nothing wrong here. He means about 45%...

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
-Al Gore, Vice President

'I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Dan Quayle

'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?'
-Lee Iacocca

'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor .

'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

'Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.'
-Keppel Enderbery


Feeling smarter yet?

[CarmieJo]

LOL! You really should think before you start talking!

[BrianG]

It is amazing what some people will say

[Amphibious]

Another great round of gaffes, Skurvey.

The best way to keep from putting your foot in your mouth is, don't open it. Some people should practice that more often.

Thanks for the chuckles.

Dick