You're absolutely right, it's not easy to find the time
I work in the I.T. department of one of the biggest law firms in the world. I work a full 40 hours a week, plus I'm on call 24/7 a week at a time once evert 10 weeks. Thankfuly, we are able to have my wife stay at home with the kids (3 and 6). From the time i come home, to the time the kids go to bed, my time is dedicated to my family. Helping with schoolwork, shopping, fixing dinner, playing, what have you. After the kids go to bed, and on weekends is when I get most of my work time in on the tank. Both of my tanks are in the den, so I can work on them while I chat with my wife, listen to the TV or surf TR. Thankfuly, my tank is to the point that it doesn't require more than 15 minutes or so a night to feed, check everythng over, run tests, and whatever other minor details need attention. Waterchanges and other major maintenece usualy take pace on the weekends, either while the kids are paying, or again, after they go to bed. I'll usualy spend a cumulative couple of hours on the tank spread out over any given weekend. it's really not bad at all, since i don't view any of it as a chore, as I really enjoy working on the tanks. It doesn't really detract from anything else, since I tend to get yardwork and housework out of the way during the day on weekends, which leaves plenty of time to spend with the kids, and I can spend time with my wife while I'm working.
It certainly souns like you have your ands far more full than I do. I think the real key is t grab 5 or 10 minutes when you can for the general maintenece stuff, and try to set aside an dour or so (however long it takes you to o a WC, tank cleaning and other major maintenece items) one a week to just get it done.
